One Good Line

I think even the Worst Movie Ever might have even just one good line.

I'm not saying that Soul Surfer is the worst movie ever (I've seen Ishtar, of course), because other than the writing and the acting it was pretty darn good. However, at one point the sweet and courageous Bethany Hamilton (whom you might remember is the girl who lost her left arm to a shark attack while surfing in Hawaii) was asked if she would still go back and surf on the day of the accident if she had it to do over again. She responded by saying, pretty much, yes. (I don't even remember what she said, so it wasn't the Greatest Line Ever, but she did answer affirmatively: Yes!)

Her response helped redeem the movie. Here's why.

Would you go back and do it again?

Would you endure the teasing, the humiliation, the fear, the loneliness, the abuse, the sadness, the despair, the emptiness, the non-self-differentiation, the anxiety, the poverty, the affluence, the substance abuse, the shame, the guilt, the addictive behavior, the lying, the deceit, the sexual confusion, the ostracization, the bullying, the bossiness, the loss, the grieving, the emptiness, the misunderstanding, the broken relationships, the suffering, the pain, the tension in the home, the alcoholism, the mistakes, the disappointments, the everything-bad-and-nothing-is-good moments of your life so that you could be just what you are today?

Think of that for a moment.

Would you?

Would you give your left arm to ride the waves?

You were meant to be different, weird, strange, gifted...dare I say special--and you would not have become that had you not experienced all that you experienced. It has made you the relational, spiritual, psychological, and professional person that you are and you have something BIG to offer because of it. But I think I have a pretty good hunch that you're letting something hold you back...that you might be mourning the mess rather than letting it catapult you into greatness. Please remember this: You're not going to change the world in spite of what has happened to you, but because of it.

So you can see why this decent, but not breathtaking, movie has value for us today. It makes us ask and answer the question of whether we would do it all again. Try to say yes to this, would you please?

My Three Sons

I can't wait to tell you about my three sons.

Dexter (23) is my favorite and I love him the most. On the day he was born I was struck by how much his hairline seemed to follow mine. My kid! Wow! And I knew early on that this kid had 'it' like no one else. (When h
e was five years old I had scolded him for something and he sat me down and said in measured tone, "Dad, you don't need to

yell at me. Just tell me your expectatio
ns.") He is brilliant, insightful, warm-hearted, sincere, and self-differentiated. He knows where he is weak and he knows where he is called. He has faced some disappointment in his life and in his early adult years he is demonstrating that he can leverage that disappointment for productive and contributive activity to society. Dexter may not be the one to change the world, but his quiet leadership, intuition, sincerity, and love for those around him will undoubtedly influence those who will. Dexter is a next-level thinker. I can't keep up with him. He operates in a milieu that most of us will never know. What he comes up with needs to leak out to everyone at every level. He's just that gifted.

Happy Father's Day, Dex.

Kyle (21) is my favorite and I love him the most. We share the middle child syndrome and his compassion for people around him is uncanny. He is the peacemaker and he is the competitor. (We just found out that his camp staff nickname is The Shield because he caught a dodge ball in the face while protecting a young lady! This says it all about Kyle!) He has a propensity for athletic statistical memory unlike anyone I have ever met. He is the care-full coach and someone somewhere is going to benefit greatly from his sweet combination of sensitivity and passion. If he doesn't coach athletes in football, basketball, baseball, hockey, water polo, curling, soccer, tiddliwinks, golf, track and field, surfing, water skiing, swimming, springboard diving, biathlon, triathlon, decathlon, marathon, rugby, auto racing, or cycling, he might just become a pastor. He'd be good at that. No, great. Kyle sometimes says he's a jack of all trades, that he's good at a lot of things and great at nothing. Not so. He is (and you'll hate my using this cliche) great at being Kyle--again, my favorite and the one I love the most.

Happy Father's Day, Kyle.

Kenny (15) is my favorite and I love him the most. He just finished 9th grade (with a 4.0, which means 7th, 8th, and 9th grades all looked identical) and he's a scholar partly because he's a natural and partly because he's diligent and organized. He runs with a pretty good group of guys that Frayne and I really love and appreciate. Yeah, he plays football and baseball very well, and we spend hours at his games, but it's not just his skill level that attracts us. It's how he plays that we enjoy. He has a maturity about him and takes seriously the idea that you should be the 'first one on and the last one off' the field. Something else you should know about Kenny: he has the most natural singing voice of all the guys. Kenny has a quiet side that is highly observant, contemplative, and silently appropriates all of the perceived data to his life, the life of his family, the life of his friends, and the life that operates all around him. Oh, and we love to 'double it up' on slalom skis behind Dolce Vita.

Happy Father's Day, Kenny.

On this Father's Day, 2011, I refuse to make it about me--whether I am a good dad or a lousy dad. It's more fun and life-giving to make it about the three young men that Frayne and I have been blessed with. The celebration of what they are and who they are becoming is enough to make this particular Hallmark holiday the best one of the year.

Happy Father's Day,

Kelly

P.S. You may ask: "How can this be? How can you love all of them 'the most'?" Good question.

In Memory

I remember today that great men and women died for our country.

I remember today that our military has taken its share of innocents.

I remember today that people have sacrificed for what we consider freedom.

I remember today that we take freedom from others.

I remember today that wounds and injuries have been sustained by people doing their best.

I remember today that violence often solves nothing.

I remember today that thousands were killed on 9/11.

I remember today that most military initiatives escalate global hatred.

I remember today that many veterans don't get the aftercare that they need.

I remember today that our current wars likely have cost us over $1.2t. (trillion)

I remember today that I have never had to fight.

I remember today that I don't know if I could.

My hat is off to your brothers and dads and sisters and moms and cousins and uncles and aunts and neighbors and friends who have done what they think is right for the cause of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I respect the pacifists and non-resistors and those for whom 'turn the other cheek' is more than just a Jesus-cliche. That's beautiful and good and holy and pure and right and commendable and there is little that is more awe-inspiring than the one who 'lays his weapon down' in the pursuit of wholeness.

I remember today what a difficult conundrum this is.

CADRE

cadre (kah-drey) -noun 1. a highly trained, tight-knit group of workers; 2. a group of trained or otherwise qualified personnel capable of forming, training, or leading an expanded organization; 3. a cell of trained and devoted workers

In my last post, I spent a few minutes confessing my frustration with and criticism of what happens in most churches at 11:00 on Sunday mornings. I owned, apologized, and now turn from my wicked ways. (It's a process, right?) And I realize that in many areas of my life how much I desire to be coming up with ideas and solutions instead of indictments.

So I would like to re-introduce you to this 'cadre' endeavor that has been developing for the past couple of years.

I am given over to leading a set of educational systems that are meant to 'crystallize a cadre of artist-learner-leaders for the revolutionary transformation of the global worshipping church.'

#1: Are you an artist? (Do you render the spiritual as tangible in time and space using the stuff of this earth in order to engage Mystery through the five senses?) Are you a learner? (Do you have a quest for a deeper spiritual knowledge and understanding of the divine?) Are you a leader? (Do you give of your self in sacrificial service in order to develop the love offerings of the people within your sphere of influence?) Then you are an artist-learner-leader, the first 'requirement' of a cadre member!

#2: Are you into revolutionary transformation? Do you live to see the day when the Church (and that for which she stands) is more fully unified? attractive? dignified? free? irresistible? tangible? compelling? fun? beautiful? engaging? inclusive? honored? revered? pure? giving? loving?

#3: Are you willing to have a perspective that extends beyond your local community and into regional, national, and international purview?

If you can say 'yes' to the accompanying characteristics of these three components, then you are a likely 'cadre' candidate. And a member of a developing cadre can't wait to be with his or her fellow members in a focused, perpetual, transparent discussion regarding the who, what, where, when, why, and how of their collective subject. Will you join me in this? Will you join me in talking about the 'beautiful nexus of the physical and spiritual' and 'the place where the curious meet the mysterious' and 'theology, ministry, artistry' and paradoxes like local/global worship and corporate/individual worship and contemporary/traditional worship and discipleship/outreach and how the worship is the Word and the Word is the worship and how to choose songs and how to incorporate liturgy and drums and dance and robed choirs and food and children's drawings and laughter and crying babies and how right-brained musicians can get along well with left-brained technicians and extended chords and pads and arrangements and flow and and and???

I believe something BIG is about to happen and it's not necessarily the end of the world as we know it. But it might take a willing and available 'cadre' to help bring it about.

kb

kballard@beyondworship.com

Criticism

'You are the man.'

The urban dictionary renders this a good thing.

The OT....not so much. II Samuel 12.7. Nathan to David (upon the completion of a not-so-happy story and David's not-so-dialed-in response): 'You are the man.'

My colleague and I had just finished eating Thai and were on our way to an academic presentation on Friday night when he brought up the subject of criticism. I know him well enough to know that when a subject comes up it's because something has triggered it...so I owned that I had been a little less than complimentary in my church-related comments during dinner. After he so graciously shared some thoughts on criticism, I responded with, "I'm critical, aren't I?" (news flash) He continued in grace and said, "You're pretty good at it."

A compliment! Ha!--His nice way of saying, "You are the man."

Then last night I was eating Sun Chips and almonds at a gathering of a few worship leader types and I shared some thoughts on the church. (I guess I have been confusing criticism with discernment lately....) At the end of my sad rant, I simply said, "I'm really not angry." A man I had never met before responded with, "Oh, I've read your blog."

I am the man twice in one week.

So I thought I had been 'righteously angry' and 'thinking critically' but maybe it's not that pretty after all. I sincerely want to see the worshipping church develop and grow and change and flourish and fly and sing and be irresistible and unifying and beautiful and fun and risky and adventurous and attractive and renewed and restored and invigorating and culinary and reflective and inter-generational and multicultural and multi-ethnic and old and new and fast and slow and loud and soft and inward-outward and perfect. Is that asking too much?! Really?

But anger and criticism don't seem to be the way to go about contributing to its perfection.

It's a new day of mercy and I stand in need. Thanks for journeying with me.

kb

Hunches, Beliefs, and Convictions

I have some thoughts on some issues that are kind of gee-huh-i-wonder-if-ish. These are my hunches.

I have some thoughts on some issues that are well-it's-probably-more-likely-than-not-ish. These are my beliefs.

I have some thoughts on some issues that are i-doubt-you'll-ever-budge-me-on-that-one-ish. These are my convictions.

My hunches, beliefs, and convictions change...and that is no more shocking to you than it is to me. Some of the very items that I held strongly to have moved to the Hunch Zone. That isn't to say that I've done away with them completely. I have just had my whole spiritual thinking and acting re-calibrated by the events of the past several years. What I thought was 'right and accurate and correct' sure isn't any more.

Is this bad?

I don't think so. That's because what I have chosen to hold as convictions seem much more plausible and powerful than what-used-to-be.

Here are a few current convictions:

1) We can either be ugly or we can be beautiful. (I am both much of the time.)

2) The primary purpose of Jesus isn't the saving of individual souls.

3) The Church in most of its forms is perpetuating something unhealthy.

4) The Church has the potential of being the hope of the world.

5) I get credit for the things I don't deserve credit for (which makes me secretly happy and pseudo-proud) and I don't get the credit for things I deserve credit for (which makes me angry and proud).

6) You generally mean well.

7) We are not unworthy wretches deserving of wrath.

8) Non-evangelicals are just as capable of living out God-stuff here as evangelicals.

9) The Bible message is a good one overall, but it's different than we think.

10) Gratitude is more important than success.

Here are some beliefs:

1) There is a historical Jesus.

2) My dad loved me even thought he didn't know he loved me.

3) Basketball is almost as good as mountain climbing.

4) Mountain climbing is almost as good as water skiing.

5) Water skiing is almost as good as making good music.

6) Making good music is right up there with sex, food, rest, swimming, snorkeling, vacation, road trips, laughter, surprises, adventure, risk-that-pays-off, watching sports on TV when it comes down to the last second play and we jump up and down and scream and yell like when Marshawn Lynch ran 67 yards to seal the win against the Saints and the fans at Quest Field actually registered as an earthquake.

Hunchables:

1) I'll probably go to whatever heaven there is.

2) Everybody is looking for the real Jesus.

3) People will tire of Facebook.

4) Kenny, Dex, and Kyle will all dramatically impact this world for good.

5) College students (and other real people) don't like the fact that they are self-centered most of the time.

Well, that's it for now. I sure like how free I feel with these new thoughts and life direction. Pretty cool and fun and what do you think?

Dr. B

Hot Dogs and Finger Paints

Random Thought #1: I do honestly believe that most people who attend church are attending for the 'right' reasons. They are seeking, yearning, attempting to be faithful, desirous, hopeful, unselfish at times--giving at others, genuine, trying, hungry, generous, willing, and able. Such virtue is often met by a leadership and a product and a program and an us-them, presentation-observation experience that takes its cues from a counterfeit set of expectations. This is to say that most pastors think they have to be and do something for a purpose that doesn't really exist--that is to cater to a consumer that isn't really there.

Random Thought #2: I'm not sure if Facebook is the place for an escalating tit-for-tat on things orthodox, biblical, heretical, questioning, imploring, guessing, hunches, apostasies, and other theological, social, relational banter. It is too frustrating to try to share 'ideas' that come across as 'convictions' when I realize that most of the Christian world is operating, perhaps, shall we say, a little more paradigmatically constrained than I might be. I do not make for good interaction right now, as my incredulity precludes gracious understanding. The church institutional is, generally speaking, for me becoming a weapon of mass destruction wielded by arrogance and I am better off staying out of sight lines rather than try to disarm it all in one swift act of nobility and valor.

Random Thought #3: I question building close to a half-century of living on something (lower case s) 'concrete.' Concrete. Bricks and mortar. Institutional. Systematic. Mechanical. Right angles. Correct angles. Correct posturing and maneuvering and solid footing. Rules. Regulations. Safety. Blueprints. Plans. Dogma. Blessed Assurance. I Know Whom I Have Believed. Persuaded. Duped maybe. Indoctrinated perhaps. Bullied, for sure. Is this the precedent that is true and accurate? Is this the faith-foundation on which I stand? For some reason it has lost most of its attractiveness, therefore effectiveness--at least in my realm. And just like Half Moon Bay surf-watching tourists I have been swept off my perch by the 10-footer that came from out of nowhere. It boldly reminds: "Put your hot dog down and start paying attention."

Random Thought #4: In short, corporate worship is a unified gathering where God himself receives the soul's desire. (I just made that up.) We try to render him knowable or accessible or tangible (though this is fairly impossible), trusting that by his grace and Spirit we will discover something that is already there that we can hold on to--or that can hold on to us. We do this in the only way we know how--through the use of time and space and the five senses. Some of our attempts are awful (usually), yet God finds joy in the voice of his children.

Random Thought #5: Finger painting my through life right now with wet fingertip big, big swirls. Whistling. Humming. Sometimes I sit and shake my head. Sometimes I shrug my shoulders, palms up. Not ready to rinse off in the sink quite yet.